That Noise in the Basement...

Hello all.  Today (or yesterday if you are reading this a day late) is a historic day.  Well, it's a historic birthday.  The technology of yesterday is over the hill.  My childhood counterpart is weeping inside.  The feeling of growing old has hit me yet again and now my aching knees have a valid reason to give out on me.  

The Compact Disc is 30 years old.  

I was driving to work today when I heard this on the radio.  I almost blacked out behind the wheel (not really, but for dramatics let's pretend I did) and wanted to cry a little.  I remember the days of being an angsty teenager blowing my entire paycheck at Sam Goody or Best Buy purchasing CDs and thinking to myself, "These will never go out of style or become obsolete."  Boy, was I wrong.

I posted the CNN article to Facebook along with the Macy Fact that my first CD purchase was, in excellent musical taste, The Spice Girl's debut album.  That was the first CD that I ever owned.  That was also the same time that the first VHS I ever owned (other than anything Disney related) was Clueless.

Come on ladies, it is the Bible. 

I was on the phone with the best-far-away-friend talking about all the first musical purchases that we had made as kids.  We both agreed that the first CD we ever purchased was Spice Girls (I knew I loved her for certain reasons) and that the first soundtrack we ever owned was to the film Titanic.  But I got to thinking about all the other firsts that I associate with music.  I am not talking about the first cassette tape I ever owned (Michael Jackson's Thriller) or the first tape I got as a gift (TLC's CrazSexyCool), or the first cassette tape that I bought for myself  (Paula Abdul's Greatest Hits...not proud of that one), but the memories that I keep close to my heart because of music.  The songs that when you hear them, memories come flooding back.

If I had to make a mix tape to the music of my life, I know that at least Side A, or Disc 1, or whatever you call it now, would be filled up.  Let's see...where to start...

Track 1: The Andrews Sisters "A Bushel an a Peck."  My mom sang this song to me as a kid.  She would sing it to me to put me to sleep.  It was even my ringtone for her in college.  People can testify to this.
Track 2: Cinderella "A Dream is a Wish your Heart Makes." She is still my Disney Princess.  I am just waiting on my Prince Charming to show up with my glass footwear. 
Track 3: Jim Reeves "Bimbo."  This was my mom's favorite song when she was little.  This was also her first record.  I never heard it until I found the old record in a thrift shop.  I see why she loved it. 
Track 4: Rednex "Cotton Eye Joe."  I did a drill team routine to this song when I was in 6th grade.  At the time I felt so cool.  Now when I look back at it, I want to kill this memory with fire.
Track 5: Marky Mark and the Funky Bunch "Good Vibrations." Almost much as I want to kill this one, too.  As a kid I did competitive roller skating.  I did a routine to this song.  It involved sequins and glitter.  It was a dark, yet sparkly, time of my life.
Track 6: Oasis "Wonderwall." Because everyone had this as "their song" with someone they used to date in Junior High or High School.
Track 7: The Postal Service "The District Sleeps Alone Tonight." My first kiss was to this song.  Nuff said.
Track 8: Kate Nash "The Nicest Thing." I love this song.  It made me feel like I wasn't the only sappy girl who couldn't get a boyfriend in college.
Track 9: Tom Waits "In Between Love." To the one guy I was in love with in college.  You know who you are if you're reading this.
Track 10: Beyonce "Single Ladies." This song screams all night cram study sessions before Senior Seminar with my two best Lit Chick partners in crime.  Dancing in the kitchen making cup cakes...that's what Lit Chicks do!      
Track 11: Marilyn Monroe "Diamonds are a Girls Best Friend." My girl! I don't care what anyone says, Marilyn just rocks.  This is the best choreographed scene she was ever in.  Watch and enjoy.   
Track 12: Eric Clapton "Tears in Heaven." The one song that I listened to on repeat after my dad passed.  One of his favorite artists and this song just makes me think of him. 
Track 13: Johnny Cash "Get Rhythm." It is a Macy Motto.  Get rhythm whenever you can! Listen to this Cypress Hill mash-up.
Track 14: The Smiths "Asleep." It was hard to pick just one sad British pop song from my favorite band of all time.  But this one was just so deliciously emo when I was in High School that it became my anthem.
Track 15: Alanis Morissette "You Learn." Life is such a jagged little pill.  Swallow it down.  This is the anthem for me and the best friend. We have been through so much that the only way to keep on keepin' on is to remember you live and you learn. 

Life is a mixed CD.  I have been saying that since college (literally...look).  I love that going through the songs made me think of the good, bad, and ugly times of my life.  Times where I was at my lowest and the times where I was so happy that I would scream the lyrics to these songs at the top of my lungs.  You can judge me for my music tastes, I do not mind.  I judge myself on some of them.  I still can't believe that I danced to Marky Mark.  That I KNOW is on tape somewhere.  It needs to be destroyed.  If that ever surfaces I pray to the Lord above that it does not fall into the hands of my arch nemesis.

So we meet again, Taylor Swift.  Prepare for battle!

This was a fun little blog tonight.  I appreciate you sticking it out with my and getting to the end.  I know this was a lengthy one, but it was filled with some good tunes.  Now if you will excuse me, I am going to go think of what my Life--Side B remix will include.

NOT THESE GUYS!!! AAAAAHHHH!!!

Night guys.

The Lit Chick Formula…

How did I become a Lit Chick? How does anyone become a Lit Chick?  You would think that we would have a secret society.  That we disguise ourselves in the shadows of book clubs when in all actuality we are rival street gangs that diagram sentences and participate in fight clubs.  For anyone who has ever said, “sticks and stones may break my bones but words will never hurt me” was obviously never hit with a dictionary.  Our verbiage cuts like daggers, our wit pierces like knives.   

We are the proud, the few, the cat ladies…we are the Lit Chicks.

In my studies, I have found that there is a simple equation as to how unsuspecting girls gets transformed into crazy, articulate, grammar checking, spelling Nazis.

You take:

1 part girl, any age will do

2 parts fantasy, Disney and Fairy Tales preferred

1 part fiction, either fan, non, or semi

Equal parts dreamer and romantic

A dash of nerd, a pinch of geek

A sprinkle of social awkwardness

Mix ingredients together and place in either a library, book store, Shakespearean sonnet read-a-thon, or creative outlet and let simmer for the length it takes to read “Gone with the Wind.”

Remove, serve in second-hand store attire, sweater and horn rimmed glasses optional, and enjoy. 

SUCCESS!  You just grew your very own Lit Chick.  

"She's alive! And she can read Latin!"

I was cleaning out some papers this afternoon and came across one of my journals that I had back in college.  It was the semester I was taking Children’s, Young Adult, and Women’s Literature.  That, my friends, was my turning point into madness.  That is when I became Lit Chick Macy.  Instead of credit cards falling out of my wallet when I dropped it, library cards went flying.  The phrase, “I don’t want to see that movie.  The book was better,’ started making its way into my vernacular.  Coffee became my best friend.  I would snap instead of applauding at poetry slams.  I even refused to go on a date with a guy because he had never heard of Paradise Lost!  

#nerdgirlproblems

Not to jump topics, but speaking of lost, upon finding that journal, I realized that going back and rereading my 2008 counterparts ideas made me feel nostalgic for how I used to be.  What I used to care about.  I missed me at that point.  I knew who I was at that point in time, and I want that back!  I was the artsy girl who liked French films and wanted to be a secret smoker like Margot Tenenbaum.  I would stay up late at night and read and recite poetry like it was the ABC’s.  I miss it all.    

Moving to Austin was the best decision I have ever made.  But for the past 9 months I have felt stunted, my mind clouded by thoughts of my parents, old friends, relationships that never were, romances that will never be.  I have re-placed myself physically, but not mentally.  I lost myself in the move. 

Along with winter coats and lunch boxes, I might find myself here.

So what do I plan to do?  I plan to get myself back.  I want to be someone I am proud to be.  I want to wake up in the mornings to a routine and a lifestyle that fits who I am now.  I am not the same person I was when I was living in Fort Worth.  That chick is long gone, and to be honest, parts of her can stay gone.  I am keeping only the best from my former self and allowing it to stay her in ATX.     

Henry David Thoreau said, “Not until we are lost do we begin to understand ourselves.”  I am finding myself again in Austin.  I am taking the best parts of my parents, mixing them with the ingredients I care to keep of myself, and rolling them around and shaping them together to make a new person.  We are all evolving, even we book worms.  Perhaps the next stage for us Lit Chicks is transforming into Literature Ladies.

Now if you will excuse me, I have some personal business to take care of.   

Like sands through the hourglass…

 So are the days of our lives.  

What am I doing?  No seriously, what am I doing?  I am drafting this blog post at 11:40 p.m., listening to “Blackbird” by The Beatles, full off Taco Bell and contemplating how I am going to burn off the calories that were in the red sauce they put in their burritos.  I am sitting in front of my computer, staring at the blinking cursor and it taunts me like it has many times before.  

I remember back in college when I had decided to drop the education part of my degree plan and focus strictly on English.  That little cursor and I became best friends.  When I would stay up late writing papers and essays about poetry, when I would draft non-fiction stories for the fun of it, and when I would need an outlet for expression that little cursor and I would make the best of the situation and create some awesome writings. 

It was in 2009 when I last remember feeling totally right with the world.  Or should I say “write” with the world.  I was in my last year of college, I had my own column with the university paper, and I had written a play that was picked up for a summer theater production series.  Things were starting to feel right, that I had finally found my calling.  

Then shit got real.  

In the span of 6 months, my father had passed away, my mom’s health started to deteriorate and I was working full time while taking 15 hours worth of classes just to finish my degree.  I was the sole bread winner of the family, and in between probate court and shuffling my mother from doctors appoint to doctors appointments, I had little time to focus on my writing career…or lack thereof at that point. 

I was searching the archives of my old school newspaper, The Shorthorn, and I found my columns and articles. In my opinion, they aren’t half bad.  In my mother’s opinion, they were great!  She couldn’t wait for me to get home every Friday with a copy of the paper to show her my clippings.  My dad had my every publication, every article I had written clipped and on the fridge like a child who brought home a perfect spelling test.  They thought I was brilliant.  The fact that they got to see my name in print makes me smile.  It also makes me feel like when I make my student loan payments each month my degree wasn’t in vain.  

Check me out here. 

I had a thought tonight.  I love my job and my career.  I couldn’t ask to work for a better company.  But I really miss that feeling of seeing my name printed next to an article that I wrote.  That feeling I would get seeing my ideas and thoughts in the hands of others.  That was such a thrill.  I decided something tonight.  While I sit here, still listening to The Beatles, I made the decision to get back out there.  Even if it’s just one day out of the week, I want to get my thoughts back into print. I am not doing it for the money.  Hell, in college I was paid $7 a column.  That is what I considered drinking money for the weekend.  It’s for the love of the art, the love of the game.  

I am challenging myself to put all those scribbles I have in journals into thoughts and writings and get them out into the world.  I may never be a hard hitting journalist, but I will be published again.      

As God as my witness…

A little Deb will do ya...

Welcome one and all to the relaunch of The Lit Chick blog. It took me a long time to think of a good topic to write about for my first blog back. Too much has happened since 2009 to update you all on everything that has gone on in my little world. I graduated college, got a great job working for a company I love, adopted two little fur balls who go by the name Lola and Linus, and oh yeah, MOVED TO AUSTIN!!!

The moving to Austin part...let's resume there.

After my mom passed away in December, I will admit that I was entirely lost. I think I stayed in a constant state of drunk for a good two months after. I packed up the house we had lived in for 14 years and moved in with family in Fort Worth. Now, for those of you who are just joining us, over the past year my mom Deborah had 3 hip replacements, numerous trips to the emergency room, a fallen hip implant, a Hematoma, and three rounds of physical therapy before passing away. Needless to say she put up an awesome fight.


Such a lady.

The two months that followed after she passed were really a blur. I loved the family I was living with, but each day was just a struggle to get up and function. I still drove past our old house every day on my way to work. I was reminded daily of how she was gone. I needed to get out.


Then the rescue team came.

Not only was I offered a position and a promotion in Austin, but my dear friend Sally (who is now my sister by proxy) offered me a room and a new life with her, her fiance TJ, and their little one Olivia. Instantly I was given a sister, a brother-in-law, and a niece. Not to mention a fresh start.

I took it.

I am kind of in a Catch-22. I want my mom to still be with me so I could tell her all the amazing things that are going on. The new people I am meeting, the new places I am visiting. But then again, if she were still with me, I wouldn't be here, living my life, experiencing these new adventures.


Best. Picture. Ever!

So, with this being my first post back, I dedicate it to my mom. My best friend and my secret keeper. I want to capture my new life in Austin using this blog. I want people to read it and respond to it. I want to share my story. In a way, I do get to live my life now. She gave me the opportunity to do that.

So stay tuned, because this story is just getting started.