Like sands through the hourglass…

 So are the days of our lives.  

What am I doing?  No seriously, what am I doing?  I am drafting this blog post at 11:40 p.m., listening to “Blackbird” by The Beatles, full off Taco Bell and contemplating how I am going to burn off the calories that were in the red sauce they put in their burritos.  I am sitting in front of my computer, staring at the blinking cursor and it taunts me like it has many times before.  

I remember back in college when I had decided to drop the education part of my degree plan and focus strictly on English.  That little cursor and I became best friends.  When I would stay up late writing papers and essays about poetry, when I would draft non-fiction stories for the fun of it, and when I would need an outlet for expression that little cursor and I would make the best of the situation and create some awesome writings. 

It was in 2009 when I last remember feeling totally right with the world.  Or should I say “write” with the world.  I was in my last year of college, I had my own column with the university paper, and I had written a play that was picked up for a summer theater production series.  Things were starting to feel right, that I had finally found my calling.  

Then shit got real.  

In the span of 6 months, my father had passed away, my mom’s health started to deteriorate and I was working full time while taking 15 hours worth of classes just to finish my degree.  I was the sole bread winner of the family, and in between probate court and shuffling my mother from doctors appoint to doctors appointments, I had little time to focus on my writing career…or lack thereof at that point. 

I was searching the archives of my old school newspaper, The Shorthorn, and I found my columns and articles. In my opinion, they aren’t half bad.  In my mother’s opinion, they were great!  She couldn’t wait for me to get home every Friday with a copy of the paper to show her my clippings.  My dad had my every publication, every article I had written clipped and on the fridge like a child who brought home a perfect spelling test.  They thought I was brilliant.  The fact that they got to see my name in print makes me smile.  It also makes me feel like when I make my student loan payments each month my degree wasn’t in vain.  

Check me out here. 

I had a thought tonight.  I love my job and my career.  I couldn’t ask to work for a better company.  But I really miss that feeling of seeing my name printed next to an article that I wrote.  That feeling I would get seeing my ideas and thoughts in the hands of others.  That was such a thrill.  I decided something tonight.  While I sit here, still listening to The Beatles, I made the decision to get back out there.  Even if it’s just one day out of the week, I want to get my thoughts back into print. I am not doing it for the money.  Hell, in college I was paid $7 a column.  That is what I considered drinking money for the weekend.  It’s for the love of the art, the love of the game.  

I am challenging myself to put all those scribbles I have in journals into thoughts and writings and get them out into the world.  I may never be a hard hitting journalist, but I will be published again.      

As God as my witness…

The 5 Stages of Dating...

If only I could have a romance like The Princess Bride. 

Dating.  For most of us, dating is a fun way to be social, meet new people, visit new places and create new relationships.
If we are the lucky ones, dating will ultimately lead to romance, marriage, babies, joint checking accounts, family vacations and the white picket fence.
But while some of us (like myself) are still out there in the dating world, there are many emotions and feelings that we come across when deciding to go out with someone new.  Some are good emotions, some suck, some make you want to chew off your nails and pull out your hair.
I have a theory when it comes to dating.  I have been in the wedding industry for over 7 years.  In that time, I have seem and heard my fair share of good and bad dates.  Some of them are hilarious and some are extremely romantic.  But no matter how the initial first date goes, there are always the same feelings associated with meeting someone new.  Nervousness, anxiousness, confusion, attraction, they are all mixed into to one big ball of sweaty-clammy messiness.

When a person is grieving, they say that there are 5 stages to dealing with pain:
1. Denial
2. Anger
3. Barganing
4. Depression
5. Acceptance

Each stage is characterized by what emotional level the person is at.  If they are at the beginning of the process, the middle or even the end, it all depends on the person as to when he or she will go through each stage.  We all deal with grief differently, but we all go through these steps to some extent.   

Like grief, I believe there are 5 Stages to Dating.
I would like to share those stages with you.

The Lit Chick's 5 Stages of Dating Hell, or, It's either this or end up alone with 72 cats. 

Stage 1: Attraction (or as I call it, the "Eye Candy," stage.)
What is the first thing we notice about the opposite sex?  If you said anything else but looks you are lying.  I hate to say it, but that is what we do.  More times than not, our first initial attraction to someone is based on physical appearance.  Now that might change once you get to know someone's personality, but not enough of us decide to see beyond the book cover.  There has to be that first spark of interest. Now this leads to my second stage...

Stage 2: Uncertainty (or the "Dear God, I hope they don't have a RAP sheet," stage.)  
Putting a name, a voice, and a personality to the face is both fun and awkward.  You already know you are attracted to them physically, but if they end up being a total idiot that will more than likely ruin whatever charming features they have.  To give you an example, I went out with this guy once who was attractive, polite, and seemed sincere.  Yet during the date, he had no grasp on how to act in a social setting and, might I add, he also had no grasp on his drink.  He proceeded to drink himself stupid, thinking that every drop of alcohol made him more irresistible.  Little did he know...
It is the uncertainty of that first date that can drive a person crazy.  Which leads to my next stage...

Stage 3: Over-Analyzing (or the "Why hasn't he called me back, yet?" stage.)
Did I get food in my teeth? Did I forget to use the napkin? Did I freeze up like a Miss America contestant during the interview question? All of these things AND MORE run through your head when the first date ends and you are dropped off at your door.  For us girls, I say we have it worse.  It is a little more nerve wracking for us ladies than for you gentlemen and it is very hard for us not to go...how can I put this delicately...batshit crazy.

"Hell, I'm not even that insane. Hat's off to you!"

I cannot speak for my gender, but I can speak for myslef, and hell yes I over-analyze everything.  From how fast he ate his dinner to how we looked together in the window of the restaurant, I dissect every part of the first few dates of a relationship.  You drive yourself crazy, going in to sub-stages of the dating realm. You go from "If he never calls me, I will be heartbroken.  No one will ever want me.  I should just buy box wine and adopt cats," to "Screw him! It's his loss! Beyonce was right! All my single ladies put your hands up!" You go back and forth until you make yourself dizzy and depressed.  Leading to my next stage...

Stage 4: Connection (or the "He finally called back!" stage.)
You survived the first date.  He called asking for a second.  You are prepared, relaxed, calm, cool and collected.  There is less fear of rejection.  You can breathe and laugh.  He didn't take one look at you and run in the opposite direction.  You may even let your guard down.  You are able to make a better connection to one another.  The awesome thing about this stage is that things are exciting.  They're new.  You get to wear your favorite outfits, try things you normally wouldn't do by yourself and get to know the person's likes, dislikes, quirks and ticks.  Over the span of how ever many dates it takes you two, you hopefully become closer as friends first than lead into an exclusive relationship if things go that well!

You made that connection...that love connection!

Stage 4 is my favorite stage.  You have to get through the bad to get to the good.  Stage 3 is shitty, but you have to get through it to get to Stage 4.  You learn to laugh with one another, make memories and inside jokes.  When I date in this stage, I act like I am seeing an old friend first.  That helps to calm my nerves.  If I think I am meeting an old High School friend for drinks I tend not to psych myself out like I would if I was thinking I'm meeting them for date # 4.  You get comfortable. You get to be you.

Leading to my last and final stage...

Stage 5: Exclusivity (which is the "Table for 2" or the "Sitting in the tree," stage.)
Macy and Jake Gyllenhaal sitting in a tree...
Hey, it's my blog.  I can dream, can't I?
You've been on more than a handful of dates with each other.  You have no interest in seeing anyone else. You feel somewhat okay with him seeing you without make-up and you are alright leaving a toothbrush at her place.  Congrat's kids!  You're exclusive! Unsubscribe from all those dating websites, change that Facebook status, and tear up that card from speed dating.  You don't need it.

We all aim to be at Stage 5.  It is the happy place of the relationship/dating world.  But the only way to get there is by going though the first 4.  You can't jump through them, you cannot pass go.  You have to do it.  We all do.  Trust me, I have tried to skip a stage before.  It does not work.

I admit to rushing into relationships too quickly and either thinking there was something there or trying to make myself think that there was something between us when there clearly wasn't.  Sometimes, you get so caught up in the idea of being with someone you don't really see that perhaps you are meant to be alone right now.  You cannot force romance.  You have to let it happen naturally.  I am a big cheerleader for love.  I have been sitting on the sideline a little too long, though.  It is time I get back into the game.  You know, before I adopt any more kittens or drink myself into a slumber off of Franzia. 

 

Somebody get me a curly straw!!! NOW!!!

Please comment and share your thoughts on dating.  Follow my blog and lets see if there is a need for a Part II on dating from the Lit Chick.  I know this was a little longer read than you guys are used to, but I hope you enjoyed it.  I enjoyed writing it.

 Have a great week guys!
  

50 Shades of White...

Hey guys.  No, this is not a blog post about the Fifty Shades of Grey series.  So if you think you are going to read a posting about bodice ripping and sex, you will just have to stay tuned for another day ;) 

So...I normally don't rant about my work, and to be honest I know most of you really don't care to hear about what is going on in the wedding world (well, unless you are getting married any time soon).  But there is an epidemic on the rise and I can not keep quiet about it anymore. 

I have been a part of the wedding planning/event planning world in some fashion or another for the past 8 years, and even the most skilled Bridezilla Wranglers (like myself) are taking notice of this growing problem.  It has even crossed into the tuxedo world which is my specialty, and I am getting tired of it.  There are only so many bullets you can dodge in your day and only so many tricks you can use to put out the fires caused by a Bridezilla on the rampage!  And this time around, this wrangler is about ready to hang up her lasso and give in.  So here is the problem boys and girls.  Maybe you can help me.

Just how many shades of white are there in this world?!

I got into a discussion with my partner in crime Nicole about this subject at work and just how many shades (or rather, non-shades) of white actually exist in today's wedding world.  She actually gave me idea to blog about this and I must credit her with the awesome title.

Here are just a few, and you tell me you wouldn't go crazy over this load of bridal bullshit:

White (Oh course)

Off-white (Or ivory if you're feeling technical)

Diamond White

Soft White

Candlelight White

Eggshell White

Antique White

Anti-Flash White

Snow White

Splashed White (What the hell??)

Ecru (It's a really dirty white...it's been a bad, bad white)

Ghost White (Boo!)

Smoke White (That just sounds dirty)

Pearl White

Pale White

Magnolia White

Oleander White

Vintage White

...and my personal favorite...Hussy White...for the frisky brides!

See!  It is enough to drive even the most skilled wedding professionals mad! 

See what I mean!  When will the madness end!

Since when did the word "white" become so loose?  It's the whore of the color world! It needs to stay out of all the other shades and just be left alone.  You don't need to try and be different, you're good just the way you are. 

If I have one more bride come into my store and tell me her dress is any shade other than white or ivory my head is going to explode!  Seriously, I am going to let you in on a little secret: IT IS ALL THE SAME SHADE OF WHITE!! THERE IS NO DIFFERENCE IN THE COLOR!! I know...the image is shattered.

It is a ploy in my opinion (I really have no proof, just a theory) to make it hard on all parties involved throwing or planning a wedding for a bride and groom.  In reality, there should only be 3 colors:

White

Ivory

Black...for the offbeat brides like my Austin friend Nicole would do.  

Eat your heart out, Vera Wang.

No more shades or names are needed!  Why make something more difficult to match?  I am tired of cracking my whip at people about this.  Consider this your warning.  Change the color back to normal and stop making dresses in that shade.  I am not the only one who feels this way.  I speak for the entire wedding community.  Don't make us break off a toasting flute and use it as a shiv.  We are for real-real, not for play-play.

You have been warned.

Write Place, Write Time...

I thought long and hard if I wanted to keep the title of this blog "The Lit Chick." I haven't felt like a writer in a really long time. I started this blog back in 2009 while I was still in college and, in my opinion, at my peek of my writing creativity. I was a columnist for the University newspaper, I had a play that was selected to be performed at The Globe Theater of the Great Southwest, and I really felt like I knew what I wanted to do with my writing career. Then I just got lazy.

I don't want to go all dear diary on you, but juggling college, being a caretaker for both of my parents, and working a full time job really didn't leave much time for a blog. So it kind of just fell by the wayside. I really enjoyed it, and I still do. I just never had the time (or the energy) to just keep up with it.

While going through old journals and rehashing old manuscripts I swear I am going to finish one day, I decided to see if I still remembered my username and password for my Blogger. And what do you know, I did! I started rereading all my old blog posts and looking at what I had written. It made me reminisce about life in college, the people I knew, the professors I loved, and how happy I was while doing it.

I took the fact that remembered my my password as a sign from the literary Gods that I should try and pick my blog back up where it left off. I decided to keep with the Lit Chick schtick because, well, I am a lit chick. Self proclaimed lit chick, but a lit chick nonetheless. I have big plans for this blog. I'm starting to write again, draft again, and possibly finish that manuscript I am always talking about. Perhaps this is a stepping stone to bigger and better things.

But for now, let's just see where the blog goes.