Blondes Do Have More Fun...Unless..

...They are in a horror movie.

Hey guys.  I have a confession to make.  I love horror films.  I am not talking about movies like Paranormal Activity or gore films like Saw 1-Saw 45 (that's how many there are, right?).  I mean the old school horror-suspense films that didn't need special effects or 3D graphics to scare the crap out of movie goers.  I am talking about the good old fashioned Alfred Hitchcock style of horror.

Growing up in the 90's and the early 2000's, you have to admit that we had our share of bad horror films.  The Scream series, the Final Destination series, the I Know What You Did Last Summer series (anyone else seeing a trend?).  They were all poorly made teenage slasher flicks that were so predictable I as a kiddo was able to figure out the killer before the Police Sheriff in the film ever did.

The threat doesn't bother me much...but the poor use of grammar is killing me! Pun intended!

 I love the history behind slasher movies.  When they first appeared in the 1950's and 1960's, they were made to target teenagers to make them more straight edge and to not give into the temptation of sex, drugs, and rock and roll.  That is why if you ever notice, the loose girls and drunken jocks always get killed off.  Always!  It is a given fact.  You either fly right, or you get hacked to death at Lover's Lane.  Didn't they teach you that in Health Class?

The main problem I have with horror films of any generation is this:  Why do Blondes make better victims?  I asked this question recently and the one answer that stuck with me was that, "Because the red blood stands out better against their blonde hair."  That is a pretty genius answer.

I think he would still be as scary if he was wearing a Rick Perry Mask.  Just saying...

"Blondes make the best victims. They're like virgin snow that shows up the bloody footprints."- Alfred Hitchcock. 


That's from the master of horror himself!  So it has to be true.  My thing is that they need to give credit when credit is due.  Just because I am blonde doesn't mean I am going to fall victim to a mask wearing, knife thrusting villain, does it? 

"A gun is so 1993.  Why not kill me using slashers, monsters, creatures, beasts, ghosts, or demons?" 

I would have the same amount of strength and brain power as my brunette counterpart to foil the villain and escape.  At least I think I would.  


Just because blondes are seen as "dumb" shouldn't have anything to do with making them less capable to outwit their potential killer.  If anything, they should be prepared for this situation since it's common knowledge they make better victims.  


Wait a tick, that seems like a great idea!  The Center for Blondes Who Want To Outsmart Killers...and Want To Learn To Do Other Things Good, Too!  Classes can include: How To Outsmart Your Potential Killer 101, How To Tell If Your Boyfriend Is The Killer 102, Eerie Music You Should Avoid 205, and P.E. (cause you have to be fit if your ass is gonna run away).  


If you are blonde and have any interest in attending my classes, please follow/comment/share this blog and spread the knowledge that blondes are more than just an easy slasher movie target; we are people, too.  And all you brunettes out there, be kind to us.  You may have us beat in the Horror department, but we are kicking your ass in the Chick Flick field.  Just ask Katherine Heigl. 

Go on with your quirky self!! 

Night guys!